In a world where mental illness is not always the most comfortable topic of discussion, Zenith Kwinana has used her poetry to bring the conversation to life. Through engaging with themes of mental health, heartbreak and self discovery, she has instilled hope in her community and has reminded us that there will always be light.
Zenith Kwinana, the author of Made of Light, a compilation of poetry and prose. PHOTO: Maryam Adams
During her matric year, in 2018, Zenith Kwinana fell into a deep depression. Her battle with mental health was triggered by her need to be perfect. She felt pressured to perform and this led to an overwhelming fear of failure and unrealistic expectations.
While overcome with anxiety, Kwinana began to lose herself, her confidence spiralled and this took a toll on both her emotional and physical wellbeing.
While in this dark space, Kwinana began to write.
A battle won
Initially, Kwinana did not write with the intention of publishing a book. Instead, she wrote as a form of expression. Over the span of three months, a single word document was compiled, and organically, a book was born.
Four years later, Kwinana is in a better space, she is a stronger and more compassionate person. “There are many days when I still struggle of course, but now I know how to better navigate bouts of depression and know what’s best for my overall mental health,” she said.
According to Kwinana, to be Made of Light, is to have the unthinkable ability to shatter any kind of darkness that may be overwhelming.
Made of Light
It came as no surprise to find out that Kwinana’s favorite colour is yellow. Made of Light, features a prominent yellow cover and a delicate hand drawing. Yellow is a colour that speaks to Kwinana because it encapsulates her connection to the light, and to brighter days.
The title, Made of Light, was inspired by a quote by thirteen-century Persian poet, Rumi: “The wound is a place where the light enters you.” Kwinana explained that often people are told to “seek the light” or “look towards the light”. However, after her own struggles with mental health, she has learnt that this is not the case.
“I believe that the light is within us. We are not defined by our mental struggles and we are not bound by all the things we cannot do,” said Kwinana.
Made of Light, is broken up into three sections, which follows the personal journey experienced by Kwinana. In the first section, ‘The Wound’, she expresses moments from her darkest days dealing with depression, anxiety, insecurities and anger.
Towards the middle section, the reader is presented with ‘The Light’, which serves as a reminder that things will always get better. In this section Kwinana takes the reader on a journey of self discovery. She writes about growth, acceptance of self worth, and lessons learnt.
‘The Entering’ concludes the book and is a culmination of the healing journey. In this chapter there is a realisation of strength and triumph. Here, the light begins to enter. “My presence is a source of light, my soul will heal and my heart will grow,” she told MatieMedia.
The final touch
Made of Light, includes delicate hand drawn illustrations by Maggie Murray, a South African artist based in Noordhoek. Murray and Kwinana connected via Instagram and, according to Murray, they “hit it off immediately”.
Murray is a tattoo artist and illustrator with a keen eye for fine detail, much like Kwinana. Although Kwinana had a clear idea of how she envisioned her book to look, “Maggie played an instrumental role in executing that vision”, she said.
“I just wanted the illustrations to capture the essence of her poetry, displaying it in the soft gentle manner in which she speaks,” said Murray.
After a few final touches, Kwinana was assisted by Leaf Publishers to get her book onto worldwide outlets, including Amazon, Exclusive Books and Barnes and Noble.
Reception
Made of Light was published moments before the Covid-19 virus sent South Africa into a national lockdown. This brought about some challenges. Plans of a book launch were put on hold and access to the new book was restricted.
Yet, Kwinana saw her book and her poetry as a source of light during a very troubling time in the world.
Made of Light has an international reach and, according to Kwinana, her work is especially well received in South Africa and the United States of America (US). “It’s still crazy for me to think that my work is out there all over the world, but that is just a reminder for me that anything is possible. The stars are the limit,” said Kwinana.
Shay Belt, a poet and online follower of Kwinana’s work, read Made of Light during lockdown. Belt is based in Michigan in the US, and she explained that based on their Instagram connection, she knew that Kwinana was a phenomenal writer. Belt said that after reading her book, she felt a more personal and close connection to Kwinana.
“Made of Light is a book of healing, of vulnerability, of encouraging one to open their heart,” said Belt.
Kwinana shares her poetry through her Instagram page @poetrybyzenith. Via Instagram, she has built a community of 1 756 followers from all around the globe. Her followers encourage her to keep writing and sharing her work online.
Plans for the future
Kwinana hopes that one day soon she will have the opportunity to implement some mental health initiatives of her own, within her community. “It goes hand-in-hand with spreading the message of positive mental health that is detailed in my book,” explained Kwinana.
While continuing to share her work, Kwinana will further continue her academic career, completing her third year of a Bcom degree at Stellenbosch University, majoring in economics and marketing.
“My main focus areas in my life right now are my academics, my mental and physical wellbeing, and my friendships and relationships. But I write so much that a second book could definitely be in the works sometime soon,” said Kwinana.